I have been religious on and off. I was heavily into religion when I went to college far away from home after school. My college mates would probably refer to me as one of the queer ones for all I know. It went on for a while but by final year, I was the senior and had no seniors to keep me on the straight path so I drifted away. I guess during work life that followed I was just the bloke next door who blended into the crowd - nothing stand-out about me then. Life carried on, I got married, had a good few romantic years with your mom and then we decided to grow our family and you came along in early 2011. However, the months during your intra-uterine growth were quite harrowing for us as the place I was working at was not doing well due to the global downturn. It culminated with retrenchment the same month you were born. Life was tough for us for a whole year after that. Fortunately, your mom's parents and then my parents were here to look after you. They were a great support to us. I tried getting back to work without luck and after a few months, we decided to move back to India to my parents' house to save on expenses.
Life in India was again devoted to job hunts in novel ways but I was not successful in spite of meeting many senior people. The job market was down. Meanwhile I studied some more to keep myself engaged and cleared Level 1 of CFA in December. While celebrating the one uptick in our life after a full year of heartburn, the positive pregnancy test announcing the genesis of your brother came as a rude shock to both of us. Even your grandparents were stressed out when they thought about our situation with both of us at home without any income being generated. Do let me point out that through all these tough days and months, you were the only one person who was bringing happiness to our otherwise sad situation. You kept us entertained with your antics, cheerful nature and very quick and sweet smile that bowled over one and all.
Your brother's news really had us worried about the future. My mother finally decided to convey our troubles to her brother's pastor (they had converted to the Pentecostal faith many years back) who was said to possess divine powers of healing and future-telling. He somehow proclaimed that I would soon go back out of India and I would travel around a lot. At that time, out of desperation, I had contacted a senior colleague from a previous company and he came through and soon enough we were back in Singapore. This was quite a miraculous occurrence to us and I became very active in the church and for two years I was in the church EXCO, Area Rep and organised a very successful fund-raiser for its missionary activities. Your mom too was very active in church activities and was also the church Accountant. I was doing well at work and was appreciated for my efforts. But then, with the continuing downturn and some poor decisions by the senior executives, our company ended up in dire straits and one of the casualties was my department which was shutdown as part of a re-organization.
That was many months ago. I went through all the trauma phases - denial, anger, acceptance and finally planning to climb out of the ditch I had again fallen into. Denial that this could not happen to me as I had not done anything wrong, anger that my company and my bosses could do this to me while they still kept their jobs and high paying salaries and finally accepting that reality is what it is and planning on keeping myself motivated till the storm blew itself out. It was during this time that I badly needed support from the people I knew at church - some of them are at good positions in organizations I would like to work at. However, their attitude has left me disillusioned and now my world view and belief system has changed to a more secular one. I see no point in identifying myself with the same group where people have turned their backs and been indifferent when they could have at least passed on my CV to someone they know.
Anyways, I have come to accept that as well and realized that there are all sorts of people in this world. What I can do is to do the best that I can, leave no stone unturned and then let life and its quirks to play its games with me. Fact is, life is a big puzzle. There will be good times and then there will be tough times and these tough times just happen as a result of some entropy or Murphy's law, the same holds for the good times. You can consider it as the stars having aligned in your favor. What you need to always remember is that in most cases the tide will eventually turn and you will be able to look back at the episode for what it taught you. Of course, there are some instances that you may not emerge victorious such as if you get a terminal illness or fatally hit by a car while crossing the road. So, when someone tells that what does not kill you, makes you stronger, is quite true. If you have not died, chances are that you have pulled yourself out and you would have learnt from it. Mind you, if you do not learn your lesson, history will repeat itself again and again, till you do.
There is another saying that religious people will dispense to you - it is all for the good. Want to know what I think? We will never have the benefit of knowing where we would have ended up if something untoward had not happened. So it is just a moot point. What actually happens is that humans being an adaptable species, adapt to the new situation and our in-built survival mechanism helps us make the best of what we have been dealt with. And as I said before, if we are resilient enough, the tide will eventually turn and it will all remain a distant memory.
Thus there are a few things that we can do as earthly citizens who are but blades of grass that grow and flower and perish to fertilize the ground for future generations. Our life is inconsequential in the grand expanse of time and space that we are temporary participants of. To truly realize this, just go out to the countryside on a cloudless night and gaze at the starry sky to realize the vast world that we inhabit. You should remember that you are much more fortunate than many others around you and be grateful for your good fortune, when it is with you. In turn, you should try to help others less fortunate with either your time or your money, whichever you have to spare. Not all will be to become CEOs of successful companies and be able donate their estate to charity. The others may have the wonderful resource of time that they can share with the needy and experience first hand the gratitude and happiness of those whom they assist. If you are in a position to help someone, do so and that person having been touched by your kindness may pass it on to someone else thus setting of a virtuous chain reaction and making this world just a little more nicer place to live in.
My last piece of advice to you in this slightly longish letter - if and when you find yourself in ditch that is filled with quicksand, just hang in there. Be prepared and plan for a long haul. Keep yourself occupied, fill your schedule with activities and have a regular time-table that you can look forward to. This could be the time to do some of the stuff you never got around to such as volunteering, go for a camping or backpacking trip, play regularly and stay physically active. These are the things that will help you punch through the depression that would set in once every so often. Have no expectations of people as they would likely disappoint you and you might just distance yourself further. Some, on the other hand, might go out of the way to help you out. If you experience such a turn, do not forget it, appreciate it and give it forward when you are able to. Always remember to be thankful for your family as they would be your real pillar of support when you need one. Just wait it out and when you bounce back, step up and give forward as best you can.
Life in India was again devoted to job hunts in novel ways but I was not successful in spite of meeting many senior people. The job market was down. Meanwhile I studied some more to keep myself engaged and cleared Level 1 of CFA in December. While celebrating the one uptick in our life after a full year of heartburn, the positive pregnancy test announcing the genesis of your brother came as a rude shock to both of us. Even your grandparents were stressed out when they thought about our situation with both of us at home without any income being generated. Do let me point out that through all these tough days and months, you were the only one person who was bringing happiness to our otherwise sad situation. You kept us entertained with your antics, cheerful nature and very quick and sweet smile that bowled over one and all.
Your brother's news really had us worried about the future. My mother finally decided to convey our troubles to her brother's pastor (they had converted to the Pentecostal faith many years back) who was said to possess divine powers of healing and future-telling. He somehow proclaimed that I would soon go back out of India and I would travel around a lot. At that time, out of desperation, I had contacted a senior colleague from a previous company and he came through and soon enough we were back in Singapore. This was quite a miraculous occurrence to us and I became very active in the church and for two years I was in the church EXCO, Area Rep and organised a very successful fund-raiser for its missionary activities. Your mom too was very active in church activities and was also the church Accountant. I was doing well at work and was appreciated for my efforts. But then, with the continuing downturn and some poor decisions by the senior executives, our company ended up in dire straits and one of the casualties was my department which was shutdown as part of a re-organization.
That was many months ago. I went through all the trauma phases - denial, anger, acceptance and finally planning to climb out of the ditch I had again fallen into. Denial that this could not happen to me as I had not done anything wrong, anger that my company and my bosses could do this to me while they still kept their jobs and high paying salaries and finally accepting that reality is what it is and planning on keeping myself motivated till the storm blew itself out. It was during this time that I badly needed support from the people I knew at church - some of them are at good positions in organizations I would like to work at. However, their attitude has left me disillusioned and now my world view and belief system has changed to a more secular one. I see no point in identifying myself with the same group where people have turned their backs and been indifferent when they could have at least passed on my CV to someone they know.
Anyways, I have come to accept that as well and realized that there are all sorts of people in this world. What I can do is to do the best that I can, leave no stone unturned and then let life and its quirks to play its games with me. Fact is, life is a big puzzle. There will be good times and then there will be tough times and these tough times just happen as a result of some entropy or Murphy's law, the same holds for the good times. You can consider it as the stars having aligned in your favor. What you need to always remember is that in most cases the tide will eventually turn and you will be able to look back at the episode for what it taught you. Of course, there are some instances that you may not emerge victorious such as if you get a terminal illness or fatally hit by a car while crossing the road. So, when someone tells that what does not kill you, makes you stronger, is quite true. If you have not died, chances are that you have pulled yourself out and you would have learnt from it. Mind you, if you do not learn your lesson, history will repeat itself again and again, till you do.
There is another saying that religious people will dispense to you - it is all for the good. Want to know what I think? We will never have the benefit of knowing where we would have ended up if something untoward had not happened. So it is just a moot point. What actually happens is that humans being an adaptable species, adapt to the new situation and our in-built survival mechanism helps us make the best of what we have been dealt with. And as I said before, if we are resilient enough, the tide will eventually turn and it will all remain a distant memory.
Thus there are a few things that we can do as earthly citizens who are but blades of grass that grow and flower and perish to fertilize the ground for future generations. Our life is inconsequential in the grand expanse of time and space that we are temporary participants of. To truly realize this, just go out to the countryside on a cloudless night and gaze at the starry sky to realize the vast world that we inhabit. You should remember that you are much more fortunate than many others around you and be grateful for your good fortune, when it is with you. In turn, you should try to help others less fortunate with either your time or your money, whichever you have to spare. Not all will be to become CEOs of successful companies and be able donate their estate to charity. The others may have the wonderful resource of time that they can share with the needy and experience first hand the gratitude and happiness of those whom they assist. If you are in a position to help someone, do so and that person having been touched by your kindness may pass it on to someone else thus setting of a virtuous chain reaction and making this world just a little more nicer place to live in.
My last piece of advice to you in this slightly longish letter - if and when you find yourself in ditch that is filled with quicksand, just hang in there. Be prepared and plan for a long haul. Keep yourself occupied, fill your schedule with activities and have a regular time-table that you can look forward to. This could be the time to do some of the stuff you never got around to such as volunteering, go for a camping or backpacking trip, play regularly and stay physically active. These are the things that will help you punch through the depression that would set in once every so often. Have no expectations of people as they would likely disappoint you and you might just distance yourself further. Some, on the other hand, might go out of the way to help you out. If you experience such a turn, do not forget it, appreciate it and give it forward when you are able to. Always remember to be thankful for your family as they would be your real pillar of support when you need one. Just wait it out and when you bounce back, step up and give forward as best you can.
